...here're words to live by.... Jimmy Durante
Name: KAREN BEARNS () on Saturday, June 19, 1999 at 01:48:02
Maiden: KAREN WEBSTER
Message: A SATURDAY JOKE:
A LION AND A RABBIT GOT INTO A HORRIBLE FIGHT. THE LION BROKE THE RABBITS ARM, AND THE RABBIT GOT SO MAD HE TURNED AROUND AND BROKE THE LIONS ARM. TOGETHER THE TWO INJURED ANIMALS WERE RUSHED TO THE VETERINARIAN, WHO SAID, "THIS IS THE WORST HARE-LION FRACTURE I HAVE EVER SEEN". HAHAHA-HOHOHO-HEEHEEHEE.......
Thanks Karen, and with that hilarious "knee slapper"(giant yawner) we will close Friday Joke Day (hopefully forever). I will look them over and seriously scrutinize them (showem to my neighbor bob) and see if I can possibly pick a winner. The winner will be announced at Fosters on cruise night. Winner will have to be present (otherwise i'll have to mail this double dipped chocolate pile of goo to you in a manila folder) to collect their prize. Thank you all for these clever (yeah right) and truly side splitting jokes.
Name: Alan Hauge () on Saturday, June 19, 1999 at 00:36:32
Someone was asking about Jim West. I met his son, Jon I think is his name, who works for the Culver City Police Department. A detective. I spoke to him about five years ago about his father but don't recall where he was then.
Joke Friday...ah yes. Do you know how you can tell you are at a redneck's house? The halloween pumpkin on the front porch has more teeth than his wife.
Thanks for all the great intro's from this site. It's allowed me to start making contact with many friends from those yesteryears. I am still looking for Jerry Parker who worked at Boys Market on Hawthorne Blvd. and his brother Dennis who graduated in 1961.
Some interesting trivia: the class ring of 1961 was the only ring that didn't have to be turned around when you became a senior. It was the same either way. The next graduating class to have that option will be in the year 6009. Right!
See you later.
Name: Patty Valencia () on Saturday, June 19, 1999 at 00:04:39
Message: Geez. Can't even escape CT in the predawn hours at LAX! Snoozing with a bad cup of too hot :) McDonald's coffee I hear "Patty"? Lo and behold it is CT's very own Dewie Storie! I enjoyed the conversation, too Dewie. We ended up on the same flight and caught up on the last 25 years, well sort of. Thanks for blurring the old face Dewie. You are a true gentleman. Ok, now for the Gloria feedback dilemma. Yes, it's true, she doesn't understand any football. This I truly did not know until the late 1980's. Even I understood 1st and 10. V-v-valencia is her jibe at me for a magazine article I wrote about her magnificent, and failed, attempt to become Victory Queen. I thought that was pretty clever. She would be waking up in the bottom bunk and I would be writing quotes for her to make my article look great. Oh well. Embellishment, inc. right SB? Yes Ingrid, she does know that it is "1st and ten", but only because Bobbe Hudspeth corrected her in 1975. She also actually knows how to spell Victory. She has a very funny, but twisted sense of humor. So does John Baker. For me it is hard to discern which of them writes what on the Feedback page. Joseph, why are you still torturing me? And lastly, the Rifleman. How's Mark?
Name: David Barboza () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 23:40:27
Message: Ok. 9:37pm and still joke Friday. Satan gets in a dispute with God over the Garden of Eden. Satan tells God that the property is his and that God had given it to him. God said, no I didn't, I just said you could live there and to move out. Satan says no I won't and God said then I'll take you to court. Satan says ok but there is no way for you to win. God asked him why? And Satan replied: Because, You don't have any lawyers.
Hey Sheree. Its not a problem. Just didn't want people thinkin I's gone when I ain't. And as fer Leeroy... Well I's tryin ta git him ta works fer Dewey.
Hey Sheree. Its not a problem. Just didn't want people thinkin I's gone when I ain't. And as fer Leeroy... Well I's tryin ta git him ta works fer Dewey soes he kin have som time off and goes wit us fer som of dat dare froze milk stuff.
Name: LEEROY FELDERRUSTER () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 23:34:55
Message: Howdy. Yup mispeled my name but i's din't hav me glases on when i writ that so i's sorry. I ben laffin my head off specially that parot one fom miles pirson, that wuz a dingeroo! i wants tyo buy him an ice creme. anyway i like this site and you folks is alright by me. Thank you fer havin me again. wish i had anuter joke. talk to ya all soon LEEROY FELDERRUSTER
ya all can email me two!
Name: Dave Krikac () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 23:20:32
Message: Hey All:
Just got back from vacation, missed you all. Wow, John you have been busy, looks GREAT! So is Friday Joke Day Now! Awesome...Where did Keith Go? Keith you still around (ya knucklehead) I visited Cindy Laird Hewitt in Hawaii and She says Hey, you moving back there someday? Hello to the 76 Sweathearts, you know who you are. Anyone remember that party we had for graduation at the Hacienda Hotel? We sold tickets and it was a BCKMSB production (the first and last)
Name: Bob Rierdan () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 22:32:23
Message: The last I heard, Tim Lutz was an LAPD officer. I never heard about Jim West after HS. Does anyone remember the very popular S.M.? Bob
Jim West was a Sheriff working out of Lennox in the late 60's. That's the last I heard. Yes, I believe I remember the particular S.M. you're talking about.
Name: el rojo () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 22:30:21
Message: Talking cars, B.J.(Bruce Johnson) thought that we needed some hubcaps for this cool 55. the "cap" of the time was the 57 OLDS FIESTA and bruce had a place to "buy" down on 26th st. well we got down there and "purchased" the caps, but this little old lady just happened to walk by after hearing all this noise, and asked us if we had heard anything unusual? we said "NO MAAM". to make this a little shorter. B.J. says to me the 1st day of our jr. yr, "hey red" (he's the only one who called me that and got away with it, besides MANNY PIZZARO) the "ju'ves" are looking for you! the little old lady had gotten his license number, and the ju'ves had come to his house and retrieved "the caps". they had told him that they were coming to my house to tell my folks what was going on! well, for a solid month, i really didn't want to go home from football practice! RON SEVIER, OTTO PLUM, AND THE COACH HIMSELF couldn't have put any more fear in my body than what B.J. had told me that day. the irony of the whole thing is they never showed up! but it was a heck of a walk home from H.H.S. to 118th place for at least a month, especially if your dad and mom found out! later, el rojo!"
MAY THE COUGAR BE WITH YOU".
El, Those hub caps make 10 times the noise at night than they did in the daytime.
Name: el rojo () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 21:45:28
Message: cheryl, glad i could bring a little joy into your life with the story of B.J.s, lowrider(it was lowered, alot, for those days)and was a "GIRL MAGNET" for him anyway. a lot of us guys only wished that we had "his moxie and/or charisma". he was truly my best friend through school, including the fistfights and wrestling matches that we endured, "just as friends of course". anyway, its great to hear from somebody that still has great recollections "from those golden years". J.B.,thanks for the "cudo's" on TOM H'S 58 chev. it was a neat car. i do remember the car with the name EL DILLINGER on it. it was a 53 buick if i'm not mistaken (bbut i could be). don't remember the owner, but maybe it was the early V.Z.?only kidding. another guy that some of you early 6X/ERS might remember was a guy named TIM LUTZ. had a beautiful little cherry red 55 chev h.t.. by the way, what ever happened to him and JIM WEST? just curious. el rojo."MAY THE COUGAR BE WITH YOU"!
You know, El Dillinger might have been Ronny Arias' car. Alan, do you remember??
Name: Sheree Klingenhagen () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 21:42:20
Maiden: same as always except for a brief 17 year brain drain
Message: Hi to all, Beth Treckman I remember you too! Are you going on the cruise? If you didn't get the postcard let me know and we'll get one your way. Gee David, sorry, thought you had gone fishing with LeeRoy! As far as the bionic woman thing I've had my share of surgeries to fix a hip that was never right, thus the titanium parts. Plus a drill bit for good measure, but then my dad being a tool and die maker than seems just right. I had a really nice 67 Mustang Fastback in highschool, raised in the back with glasspacks, I think that's how you spell it! Anyway it was a cool car to cruise in. Unfortunately a couple of classmates got into an accident while my car was parked in front of my house. The drivers side was totaled. It was fixed with bondo, but never the same and I sold it when I got married should have kept the car and thought twice about marriage but that's another long story! Sheree
Another American Graffiti Story. LGW, are you listening??
Name: hch () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 21:35:34
Message: As two flies were leaving Robinson Crusoe's knee one was overheard saying, "See you on Friday". And a happy weekend to all!!!
Name: Jack Hammer () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 19:56:41
Message: OK OK Let's get our priorities straight. When I was in high school I had a 57 CHEVY BEL AIR and I had a girlfriend. The Chevy was Black lot's of chrome had a 348 with 3 deuces(obviously not stock) 4 speed, Slicks and a rear end that got you there. There wasn't a bolt or nut on it that I didn't know intimately. I think the girl had dark hair.
Now THAT'S Hawthorne Calif.!!
Name: Dewey Storie () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 19:54:29
Message: Hey Dave...you don't have to tell me about nothing in Oroville..I would love to fish the lake there but just don't have the time when I am there for work...and monday it's time to play where's Waldo again....it's Oklahoma City!
Name: LEEROY FELDERRESTER () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 19:19:46
Message: Hear be my joke
Two hunters coms to our house to huntin fer Ducks and we sade it was alrite. Well sir one of thes huntrs shots a duck an it lands in the front yerd. I's goes out and tels the huntr that is my duck. He says no sir it were his. I sez alrite only one thin ta do we setle this the ol fashyun way. Howz that he asks me. Well sir I kick you in the groan as hard as I can than you do the same to me, the first ones to quit the other one gits the duck. He sez ok. Well sir I's kick him hard and he falls to the grond crying in bout 30 minets he gits up muy term he sez, I look at him and I sez naw you keep the duck! LEEROY FELDERRESTER
LeeRoy, First of all you spelled your last name wrong, and it sounds like you turned a little creole since the other day. I liked the joke though.
Name: Gloria Herlosky () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 18:24:03
Maiden: V-V Valencia
Message: Hey, with all the family writing in on joke Friday, I would have to say that the Herlosky-Hastings group is in the lead. Let's all give a big cheer: V-I-C-T-E-R-Y : )
Ah......Gloria, wasn't that a cigarette back in the 70's? It just don't get NO WORSE than that!!
Name: Jerry Miles () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 18:00:50
Message: OK, everybody likes bird jokes, right? Here is my submission.
A burglar breaks into a house in the ritzier area of Hawthorne. He's sure that there's nobody home but he sneaks in, doesn't turn on any lights and heads for where he thinks the valuables are kept.
He hears a voice say, "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!"
He freezes in his tracks! He doesn't move a muscle!
A couple of minutes go by. The voice repeats "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!"
He slowly takes out his flashlight, switches it on and looks around the room. He sees a bird cage with a parrot in it. "Did you say that?"
The parrot says again, "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!"
"Hah! So what?! You're just a parrot!" says the burglar.
"I may be just a parrot", replies the parrot. "But Jesus is a Doberman!"
If that's the winner, I'm going to donate the ice cream prize to LeeRoy.
Name: Pam Betraun () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 16:50:19
Message: Here's another Joke for the day. I gave my name this time.
A husband is watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now." He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a "GE" logo printed on my forehead? I don't think so. "Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right." To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have "Westinghouse" written on my forehead? I don't think so." "Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the front door? They're about to break." "I'm not a darn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he says. "Does it look like I have "Ace Hardware" written on my forehead? I don't think so. I've had enough of you, I'm going to the bar!!!" So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours. He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and help out. As he walks into the house, he notices the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed. "Honey. how'd this all get fixed?" She said, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He did all the repairs, and all I had to do was either have sex with him or bake him a cake." He said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him? She replied, "Hellooooooo......Do you see " Betty Crocker" written on my forehead? I don't think so.
Name: ? () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 16:44:53
Message: How Cheap Are You?
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman went for a round of golf and their wives went along as caddies. While walking around the course the English man's wife caught her foot in a rabbit hole, tripped up, and landed in a heap on the ground. Her skirt was over her head revealing that she wasn't wearing any knickers!
The Englishman stormed over and angrily demanded a reason for her state of undress. "Well darling," she explained, "you give me so little allowance that I have to make the odd sacrifice. Usually no one notices."
The Englishman thrusts his hand into his pocket and said, "Here's a ten spot. Go to Mark's and Spencer's and get some knickers."
Two holes further along the Irish Man's wife caught her foot on a molehill, tripped up and landed in a heap on the ground. Again her skirt was up over her head revealing that she wasn't wearing any knickers either! The Irish man was livid and he angrily demanded a reason for her lack of undergarments.
"Well darling," she explained, "you give me so little allowance I cannot afford to buy undergarments." With that the Irish man thrust his hand into his pocket and said, "Here's a five spot. Go to Woolworth's and get some knickers."
Three holes further on, the Scottish man's wife caught her foot on an exposed root, tripped up and landed with her skirt over her head revealing that even she wore no knickers! Her explanation to her irate husband was the same as the others. Simply a lack of allowance.
The Scottish man thrust his hand into his pocket and said, "Here's a comb. At least you can tidy yourself up a bit."
Name: Chris Prewitt () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 16:18:22
Message: Arty and Ralph are two, middle-aged life-long friends. Ralph has been married a number of years, and can't stand his wife anymore. He asks his best friend Arty to kill his wife for him. Arty at first refuses, but eventually Ralph convinces him that this is the right thing to do. Ralph even offered Arty a dollar to commit the deed.
So Arty goes to Ralph's house to get the wife. He breaks into the house, finds her, grabs her by the neck and throttles her until she's dead. Unfortunately, the maid was witnessing the event, and Arty had to kill her too. While this was going on, the gardener happened to be peeking into the window, so Arty had to kill him too, but not before the gardener had called the police.
The next day the newspaper headlines read:
ARTY CHOKES THREE FOR A DOLLAR AT RALPH'S!!!
Name: Pam Betraun () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 15:56:27
Message: It was me! I am the one who wrote the joke about the motorcycle guys. Do I get my free Ice Cream? PLEEEEEZE!
Pam Heath Betraun, Are you trying to steal another person's joke? You are just like Lorny.
Name: Karen Kusumi () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 14:55:11
Message: This is for Jim Sloey
A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains how the game works: "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me, and visa-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The chauvinistic lawyer figures that since his opponent is a blonde he will easily win the match, so he makes another offer: "Okay, how about this "If you don't know the answer you pay me only $5, but if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, she agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and even the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, of searching for the answer he finally gives up. He wakes the blonde and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little frustrated, he wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer?" Again without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
Thanks Karen for that Jewel. I've got to go, but will return. I'll put the jokes up then and Thanks for playing Joke Friday.
Name: Peter () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 14:32:28
Message: What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
All Right Peter. You just "Walked" into the lead with that one!! Now see folks......that's Funny!!
Oh....and if you ever need to know ANYTHING about football, DO NOT ask your aunt Gloria.
Name: The Mad Joker () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 14:31:14
Message: Me and one of my friends were at a bar the other night when we saw this real drunk guy at the bar. The bartender asked us if we could drive him. We picked the guy up and were walking him to our car and he fell down at least three times before we got to our car. This guy was real drunk. When we got to his house he fell another three times just going up to his front door. We knocked on the door and his wife answered. We told her who and what we were doing and when we let the guy go he again fell down. The wife immediately started screaming at us "what did you do with his wheelchair!" Needless to say we had nothing to say.
Jorge, Is that you??
Name: Alexa () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 14:30:36
Message: What did the boy flea say to the girl flea? Do you want to walk or take a dog?
You've got to admit it......That's funnier than "First IN Ten". Thanks Alexa....
Name: Robin () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 14:07:42
E-Mail: neato isnt it?
Message: Laura, I know love is blind but marriage should have been an eye opener. The only Lexus that got me warm was Alexis Carrington on "Dynasty" and she still couldnt hold a candle to any '57 Chevy. Take Johns advice and I'll get J. Sloey to take care of the estate.....And Bill..I saw the team of 75' play and they were great. Can you imagine how far you guys would have gone had the cheerleaders known the cheers?... Joyce (not a) Chance Kelly has any LeeRoy DNA. My guess is the closest hes been to a female are the mannequins he slobbered on in the " Fredricks of Hollywood" store in "Del Ammo" yesterday.....Lori I agree, Steve Feinberg was/is the best I've ever seen but he didn't miss his calling. A grand a day (cash) in the 70s and 80s....No telethons for him....And sorry John, but I've sewed up my date with Mom V for the homecoming game...We are old college classmates yahno?...Hoping at halftime the Herloskys will show us (and explain) their rendition of "First and/in ten".....Have a great weekend and later Cougs..
OK, We'll share Mom "V". I always did have a thing for those College Girls yahno. Be Good....
Name: No Name () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 13:50:56
E-Mail: In case you don't like the joke!
Message: There were two guys on a motorcycle driving down the road. The driver was wearing a leather jacket that didn't have a zipper or any button's.
Finally he stopped the bike and told the other, "I can't drive anymore with the air hitting me in my chest." After thinking for a while he decided to put the coat on backwards to block the air from hitting him. So they were driving down the road and they came around this curve and wrecked. The farmer that lived there called the police and told them what happened. The police asked him, "are either of them showing any life signs?" The farmer then said, "well, that one was 'til I turned his head around the right way."
Well "No Name".....That could have been the winner BUT we don't know who you are so No Free Ice Cream for you on cruise night.
Name: JIM SLOEY () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 13:33:36
Message: HEY IF LEEROY IS FROM SKILLET LICK SHOULD WE GIVE HIM AFFECTIONATELY OF COURSE DON'T TAKE OFFENSE LEEROY THIS IS ALL FUNNIN. THE HICK FROM SKILLET LICK?
Joyce isn't it French Lick, Indiana?
First in Ten do it again, we like it we like it, can't get the yell out of my head! Don't know what it means though. Nice to see Patty's smiling face. Thanks Dewey! But that Foster sign will throw off poor Leeroy. LEEROY we'll come and get you! We wouldn't want our hick from Skillet Lick to miss our Ice Scream Social! Best to all. And Leeroy take care, Robin is on his way!
You know, I was doing that "First in Ten" thing when I woke up this morning too.
Name: Linda Reynolds() on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 01:51:02
Message: Here's my joke.....
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service, when she was startled by an intruder.
As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of her valuables, she yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" (....turn from your sin...)
The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you."
"Scripture?" replied the burglar, "She said she had an AXE and two 38's!"
OK OK NOW we're rollin' on Joke Friday... Thanks Linda
Name: JIM SLOEY () on Friday, June 18, 1999 at 12:52:36
Message: IT'S JOKE FRIDAY FOLKS!
So the traveling salesman is traveling through the suburbs of Lick Skillet, Arkansas when he notices in his rear view mirror a three legged chicken pulling up beside him and passes him doing about 65 MPH. The salesman having passed through Lick Skillet on many occasions has seen a lot of weird things but this tops them all. The chicken makes a left turn into we shall assume LEEROY FELDERRUSTER"S family's driveway. The salesman slows down and he too pulls into the driveway. As he gits [sic] out of his car Leeroy comes up to greet him. "Howdy." says LEEROY
"Howdy" says our protagonist.
"Whacha need?" asks LEEROY.
"Well, sir," our Salesman has seen deliverance so he is being careful and ever so respectful, "I just saw a chicken with three legs run up your driveway."
"Sur ya did." says LEEROY.
"No, sir, I really did."
"Ya sir ya did I knows dat. We raise them."
"You raise them. Why?"
"Well there be such a comotion for dem drumstiks we figured the more drumstiks the bedder."
"Well, the salesman says, "you know you have a point there, everybody I know loves the drumsticks best. So then how do they taste?"
"I don't know," says LEEROY, "we never caught one."
Let the jokes begin!
And it couldn't be more apropo to start off "JOKE FRIDAY" with anything but a lawyer.Thanks Jim
I will be leaving in early afternoon, so if you see the jokes dwindle then, you'll know why. When I return, they'll all go up on site.